healing women healing women
I recently learned something I already knew, but had never experienced on such a deep level. I learned how to let myself be seen.
I signed up for something based on my interests and curiosities. I signed up for something because a badass woman I have a total friend crush on suggested it. I hung out with 8 women I'd never met, and had the most fulfilling weekend I've had in years (aside from my wedding, and that was a different kind of energy).
It was a weekend of yoga, meditation, and laughter. It was amazing. I processed pain, I gave encouragement, I got so many hugs. We had an amazing dance party. There was delicious food. It was just everything. I went into it with an open mind and a deep intention to remain authentic.
I thought, "I don't know anyone, I can just be completely myself and see what happens. If it doesn't work out, Jonny will pick me up and I will move on from this." I went into it sort of like an experiment. What happens when I put the true, authentic Sim in house for a weekend with a group of people she's never met? I went into it with a curious mind.
I was definitely nervous. I want to say I was terrified, because that's typically what I would feel. I wasn't terrified. I didn't try to get out of it at the last minute. I thought about it, and I really wanted to follow through. Two of my values are community and relationships. If I canceled, I would not be following through on my values.
At first, I thought these women were so cool they were out of my league. By the end of the weekend, I realized that they are my peers and my sisters and my soulmates. I didn't think I was worthy of friendship from women as open and expressive and honest as these women.
I am worthy of everything I want. You are, too. You are worthy of everything you want. Say it out loud. Say it again. You are worthy of everything you want. Look in the mirror and tell yourself. I need you to know it.
By listening to these intelligent, spiritual, and wondrous women, I started looking at my world differently. It was 48 hours, and it changed me.
I haven't consciously sucked in my stomach since the retreat. I'm like, "fuck it, y'all, I just ate a lot. Deal with it." Owning my body. Feeling myself in my body. Loving my body. Healing my body.
By taking care of my body and paying attention to what it needs, I can process the emotion I have held on to. When I did yoga (not a super yoga expert by any means), I felt tension released and I felt lighter.
When I meditated with crystals, I held my emotion separate from me and I gave it to these beautiful stones. Whether you're into that shit or not, it's a cool practice and a way to hold a tangible object that can represent whatever you want it to. For example, I use crystals as reminders. I keep one in my pocket and when I feel it, it reminds me to take a deep breath and check the present moment. I really like crystals.
I'm still on cloud nine because eight women who are just total badasses became some near and dear friends. I talked about books that changed my life and they had read them, too. I talked about things I've learned in therapy that might be a little "woo woo," and they knew exactly what I was talking about. They taught me even more. They broadened my horizons, they showed me new worlds.
They taught me things that I never thought to know. It was cool to be on the exact same wave length with so many people. We all felt it. There were tears. It was really impactful.
Positive action invites positive growth. That's not mystical shit, that's just the way things work. When you take forward action toward something you are interested in, you will learn something. Even if things get weird, you will learn something.
I want to be the person I want to be. That's what I'm all about right now. In order to do that, I have to put myself in some uncomfortable situations. That's really easy to do, because a lot of social situations make me nervous.
I'm not saying I like throwing myself in shark tanks holding bait. It's all about easing into it. Give yourself what you need to feel comfortable as you venture into new territory in order to experience the growth you need to become the person you want to be.
healing women healing women
We healed each other a little bit more. We gave each other unconditional love and we learned a lot. I made some of the closest friends who know me in a different way than anyone else does. I may not see them often, I may not see them. That's not the point.
Being surrounded by that feminine power was exactly what I needed as I venture down the path of defining my own womanhood.
I am powerful beyond belief and I am a fucking badass. I've been telling myself that for years and believing it (off and on) for about five. I learned it on a deeper level over the course of the retreat. I am so grateful.
The next few blog posts coming your way have to do with completely different topics than this eye-opening retreat. However, they are connections I have made in my life as a result of the after effects of this time. This retreat was a pebble in the pond that made a ripple through my being.
this is the point
Get yourself out of your comfort zone while remaining authentic. Usually, when I'm out of my comfort zone, I'm a chameleon. I adapt to whatever the situation calls for in order to avoid rejection at all costs.
I didn't do that with this retreat. I don't know what was different this time. I was totally free. Those badass babes made my heartbeat stronger and my determination clearer. I will thank them forever.