fourth day of slow

I feel so free here. More free than I've ever felt. There is magic in this island. Every moment is a lesson. I see the Spirit of the Universe so clearly in every person I meet. This place is special. And it comes at a time where I am opening up more than ever spiritually. I feel myself blooming in to my connection with my higher power. It is easy to believe in something beyond myself here.

Yesterday we went on an incredible hike to a beach called Colombier. It is only accessible by foot or boat, and the hike was amazing. We saw a beautiful white bird with this long, flowing tail. We saw a really cool rock wall and talked (like a bunch of granolas) about how cool it would be to bring a crash pad and boulder it. We saw the most incredible views of the ocean and the tiny islands surrounding our tiny island.

It was such a clear day. While I was swimming in the ocean, I felt totally connected to my existence.

Last night at dinner we talked about the Big Bang and what it means to us on a spiritual level. It was a very long conversation, and we came to some pretty cool conclusions about the idea that the Big Bang being the Oneness that we all come from. How the Big Bang was one singular purity, and everything that has come from it has that in every piece of its structure.

Right now I am sitting on the back patio of our place enjoying some music and watching the trees grow. I just ate some crepes. Jonny is smoking a cuban cigar. We're about to go swimming.

The last time I felt this free was about five years ago, when I was discovering myself in outpatient treatment. I got to experience life in total awe because I had just chosen life. Here I am, five years later, in total awe of life. I forgot that I was missing this feeling. I forgot that this feeling existed.

Now that I remember, I think I can tap into this no matter where I am. I think that in meditation, I can create a bubble for myself where this freedom and lack of worry exists. I am so grateful for every breath. I feel like I am discovering the world for the first time. My curiosity and wonder have been re-ignited.