I received some wonderful advice last week. A very cool lady told me to take some time after finishing school to be "blissfully lazy." I love that phrase. And I'm not even sure what it means or how to do it. Over the course of four days, I talked about and thought about this phrase quite a bit. I thought of it as being intentionally lazy, or mindfully lazy. Sort of like being in the moment while relaxing and unwinding. It was hard for me to be blissfully lazy for an entire day, let alone four days.
I stop at least once a day to breathe and come back to the moment for about thirty minutes. I'm pretty good at getting quiet in the midst of chaos. But what about getting quiet in the midst of quiet, especially when I have had such a loud year?
As the weekend progressed, I kept changing my definition of "blissfully lazy" to fit what I was doing right then. Incase you're wondering, rearranging the furniture in my apartment and buying then wrapping all the christmas presents ever count as blissfully lazy activities.
In my attempts to be still, I learned about where I really am right now, and how I really feel. I am anxious about what the future holds. And this weekend I (again) learned a valuable lesson that I will learn over and over again: the future holds sadness, and failure, and doubt. The future also holds beauty, and connection, and promise. No amount of prep work or organization will ensure my safety in those situations. The future is coming, but it's only going to come one day at a time, and I think I can handle that. I'm not in this alone, after all.
I also learned that tea and a coloring book completely ease my mind. Good to know. Over the course of this time off from school and work, I am going to explore some other blissfully lazy activities. I'll keep you posted.