For many years, I was searching for relief from a darkness that consumed me. I held tight to a deep belief that death was the only escape. It was 1999 when I decided to die.
I had two questions
Why do I so easily get what kids my age die dreaming of?
Why is my individual existence so important? What does this all mean at all?
The frustration that came with inability to identify or articulate these dilemmas was only lifted when I imagined my death. I was eight-years-old.
Thirteen years later, after multiple attempts and diagnoses, I made an intentional and complicated decision to choose life.
I am here and I have so much. And I get to move forward, making positive change
There is security and stability in the uncertainty. There’s even a bit of fun.
By taking suicide off the table, I was able to begin looking at my world for the first time. I am going to stick around. I want to see what happens during this incredible, insignificantly meaningful, significantly meaningless, beautiful life.
This blog is where I document the way I see the things I see from my spot on the mountain. I have this inescapable need to share my writing with you. I frequently tell myself I absolutely should not. And then I do, because I must.
I am grateful for the opportunity to share my truth with you. This is how I give life meaning.